What to Write in a Christmas Card From the Dog (or Cat)

Some of the best cards on the fridge in December are signed by someone who can't hold a pen.

Love, Sam, Priya and Biscuit. A paw print, slightly smudged. Maybe one line underneath, in Biscuit's voice, about the tree.

It's silly. It's also the card that tends to get kept, because it sounds like the household that sent it. The trouble starts the moment you decide the dog is going to say something, because every line you can think of is a pun you've seen on a mug. Have a paw-some Christmas. Santa Paws is coming to town.

The trick to the good ones is the same as any writing about a pet: be specific. One line that could only be about your animal beats ten that could be about any of them.

So this page starts with the mechanics (where the name goes, how to do the paw), then a short guide to writing in their voice, then the lines themselves: from the dog, from the cat, from a whole household of animals, and for the situations that make people stall. At the end there's the longer version, the family holiday letter written by the dog. All of it works for a birthday or a Mother's Day card too. Swap the tree for the cake.

How to sign a card from your pet

The usual order is the people first, then the pet:

• "Love, Sam, Priya and Biscuit"
• "With love from the Okafors (and Biscuit, who helped with the wrapping)"

Or give the pet a line of their own under the people, which leaves room for a small joke or a paw print. Either works. The only real rule is to pick one way and use it on every card that year, so nobody's aunt wonders why the dog got top billing on hers.

More than one pet? Name them all if there are two or three. Past that, name the one with the most personality and add "and the rest of the household," which is also a good joke if the rest of the household is mostly fish.

A paw print, two honest ways:

• Drawn. A small paw beside the name, in the same pen: four little ovals over one bigger one. No mess, no wrestling, and it works for any animal, including the ones whose feet you would rather not ink.
• Real. If your pet will put up with it, use an ink pad sold as pet-safe, and have a damp cloth ready before you open it, not after. Press one card, let it dry, and then decide whether you really want to do the other thirty.

A good compromise: a real print on the one card that matters most, and a drawn one on the rest.

How to write in their voice

Three rules. They're the ones we use when we write a whole letter in a pet's voice, and they hold up just as well on a card.

1. Present tense, small physical things. Pets live in the now, and they notice the world from floor level: the sound of the treat bag, the warm spot on the stairs, the exact minute the sun hits the kitchen floor.

• Instead of: "I've had a wonderful year with my family."
• Try: "The sun hits the kitchen floor at 3:10. I am there at 3:09."

2. Specifics over sentiment. Big feelings in general words sound like a card shop. Small true details sound like love.

• Instead of: "I love you so much."
• Try: "You are the person who shares the last bite."

3. The comedy is the love. Own the stolen sock, the barking at nothing, the 5 a.m. wake-up. A dog is delighted by everything. A cat is unimpressed by everything, and that's the joke.

• Instead of: "Merry Christmas from your furry friend."
• Try: "I stole one sock in March and they never found it. Merry Christmas."

One more thing: let them sound a little wiser than they act, and keep the words small. Pets don't talk like a wedding toast. If a line would fit on a mug, cut it.

Lines you can use

Copy them, change the name, and swap in the detail that's actually true of your animal. The swap is what makes them yours.

From the dog, funny

• "This year I was very good. Please disregard the sofa."
• "I have inspected every present under the tree. Two of them are mine. I can tell."
• "Merry Christmas. I barked at the mail carrier every single day this year, and he keeps coming back. I respect that."
• "Dear Grandma, I will be at the door when you arrive. I will also be at the door when you leave, in case you have ham."

From the dog, sweet

These work best written to the person getting the card, about one thing they did.

• "Thank you for the scratch behind the ear in July. I still think about it."
• "You always get the ball out from under the couch. Merry Christmas to my favorite visitor."
• "The house is louder when you're here, and I like it louder. Come back soon."

From the cat

Cats work in the opposite register. The cat is not excited about Christmas. The cat has notes. Keep the disdain aimed at the household that sent the card, never at the person opening it.

• "I allowed them to put up a tree. I will be dealing with it."
• "Season's greetings. The red ornament on the third branch is mine now."
• "I have reviewed the household's year. It was acceptable. The new radiator is excellent."
• "Merry Christmas. Please tell them the box was the best present. They will not listen to me."

From more than one pet

• "From Biscuit, Mabel, and the goldfish, who wishes to remain anonymous."
• "Merry Christmas from Biscuit (who helped) and Mabel (who supervised)."
• "Biscuit says Merry Christmas. Mabel says nothing, which from Mabel is a lot."

From a rabbit, a bird, or a guinea pig

Same rules, smaller world. The small things are different: the hay, the top of the cage, one particular rustling bag, the fridge door, the window with the best view.

• "Merry Christmas from Clover. I have rearranged my hay for the occasion."
• "Season's greetings from Kiwi, who learned the microwave noise this year and would like you to hear it."
• "From Pepper and Peanut. We can hear the fridge door from any room in the house. Merry Christmas."

What to write, by situation

Their first Christmas with you

The card doubles as an introduction. Some of the people on your list haven't met the new arrival yet, so let them introduce themselves.

• "Hello. I'm Pip. I arrived in March and I have chewed one (1) stocking."
• "Merry Christmas from the newest member of the household. My name is Olive. I am eleven weeks old and already in charge."
• "First Christmas! Nobody told me about the tree. Nobody needed to."

If you're on the other side of this, writing to a friend who has just brought a new pet home, we wrote a separate page for that: what to write in a new pet card.

An older pet

A senior dog's card should sound like a dog who has done this many times and has opinions about how it's run. Warm, a little smug, and entirely in the present.

• "Fourteen Christmases, and I'm still in charge of the warm spot by the radiator."
• "I have seen many trees. This one is fine."
• "Merry Christmas from Biscuit, who now sleeps through the wrapping and wakes up for the ham."

One line to leave out: anything that counts how many Christmases might be left. It turns a warm card into a worried one.

To the people who look after them

The walker, the sitter, the groomer, the vet team, the neighbor who keeps treats in her coat pocket. This is where a card "from the dog" is most welcome, because it thanks someone for something specific, and the dog is the one who noticed.

• "Dear Jess, thank you for every Tuesday. You throw better than they do. Love, Biscuit"
• "Dear Sofia, the best weeks of my year are the ones when they go away. Please don't tell them. Love, Mabel"
• "To everyone at the clinic: thank you for being kind to me, even on thermometer day. Merry Christmas, Biscuit"
• "Thank you for the haircut. I looked very handsome for at least an hour."

If the card goes with a tip or a gift, write the line anyway. It's the part they'll remember.

To someone whose own pet died this year

Go through your list once before you start signing. If someone on it had a pet who died this year, a card that bounces in from your dog can land hard, however kindly it's meant.

For that one card, sign it from the people only. Or keep your pet's name and add one plain line of your own that names theirs: "Thinking of you this Christmas, and of Rosie."

If you'd like more words than that, we've written a page on what to say to someone whose pet died.

If your pet died this year

Keep their name on the cards, or don't. Both are fine.

We wrote about exactly that decision, along with the stocking, the ornament and the rest of the season, in the first Christmas without your pet.

The longer version: a holiday letter in their voice

Some families send a year-in-review letter with their cards. Letting the dog write it is an old trick and a good one: the year's news gets told by the one member of the household with no shame at all.

Five beats will get you there:

1. A greeting, in character. Who's writing, and how they feel about having been asked.
2. The year's news, as they saw it. The new sofa. The vet visit, as an outrage. The move, the new job, the baby, all reported from floor level.
3. One thing they're proud of. Usually something nobody else is proud of.
4. One sincere line about the people. Just one. This is the line the whole letter is for.
5. A sign-off.

Here's one:

Dear everyone,

Biscuit here. I have been asked to write this year's letter because I am "the only one with time." This is true.

It has been a big year. We got a new sofa, which I approved within ten minutes. In June I went to the vet for no reason at all and was told I was a good boy, which I already knew. Priya started a new job, so now she leaves in the mornings. I have lodged a complaint.

My proudest moment: the squirrel in April. It got away, but it knows.

Mostly, though, the year was this: Sam reads on the floor so I can lean on him. Nobody asked him to. He just does.

Merry Christmas from all of us.

Love, Biscuit

Keep it under a page. The jokes get people reading, and the sincere line is the one they remember. And go easy on the bragging. The promotion and the exam results sound worse coming from the dog, not better.

What to skip

• A whole card of puns. One "Santa Paws" per card is plenty. Three in a row and it reads like a mug.
• In-jokes only your household gets. "Remember the thing with the gravy" is hilarious at home. The card is going to your aunt.
• The pet insulting the person opening the card. Cat disdain is funny when it's aimed at the people who live with the cat. Aimed at the recipient, it's just rude with whiskers.
• The humblebrag year-in-review, in any voice. A dog announcing your promotion is still announcing your promotion.
• A jokey card to someone who is grieving. That one is covered further up this page: sign it from the people, or add one plain line with their pet's name.

If you'd rather have the long version written for you

If Your Pet Could Talk ($29) does it for you at full length: a 6-page personalized letter in your pet's own voice, addressed by name to the person or people they live with. It isn't a year-in-review. It's what they love about you, the ordinary days they live for, and how they feel when you walk back through the door, written to the same rules as this page. It's illustrated with a watercolor portrait painted from your photo, so the animal on the page is yours rather than a breed picture, and the whole letter is finished by hand.

Because the letter comes from your pet to their own household, the honest Christmas use is a present inside the home: from one partner to the other, from the kids to a parent, or from the dog to the whole family under the tree. It isn't the right gift for a grandparent, a friend or the dog walker. The letter is about daily life together, and it would read oddly to someone who doesn't share it. For them, the card is the right size.

After checkout you answer a few questions about your pet (a quirk or two, the best part of their day, the spots that are theirs, their favorite thing to do) and upload one photo. If you're choosing between photos, we wrote a guide to picking the best photo for a pet portrait. It arrives as a digital, print-ready PDF within 24–48 hours, so there's nothing to ship.

The short version

Six lines to keep beside the stack of cards:

1. Sign it after the people: "Love, Sam, Priya and Biscuit."
2. Write in the present tense, about small things.
3. Specifics beat sentiment.
4. A dog is delighted. A cat is unimpressed.
5. One pun per card is plenty.
6. If your pet died this year, keep their name or don't. Both are fine.

None of this has to be clever. Pick the one true thing about your animal (the sofa, the radiator, the squirrel that got away), say it the way they would, and sign it with their name.

That's the card that's still on the fridge in February.